Tuesday, September 15, 2009


did all of this come about?
my day was great,
i got a lot done,
went on a nice run.
come home,
hop out to get a phone call,
it really shook me.
i dont know how im going to deal.
two people probably think im a backstabber for not saying anything.
i trusted her.
i know it was an accident.
i know that she's taking it hard.
i know its not something most would fret over.
everything i see is a memory that will bring me down.
things are changing.

i cant stand him anymore,
my own sibling,
my old hero.
the one i looked up to and was so happy to find out they weren't yours.
i said something i wish i never would have to say,
i shouted,
with tears in my eyes, "i hate him! i want him out of my life! he's so selfish! i dont want him near me, now let me go outside alone,
so i can think! dont trap me in my room!!"
it was something i meant but not entirely,
i dont hate him,
i love him,
but i cant stand him and his stupid choices.
i cried so bad,
my throat is closing up at the moment.
i shouldnt have been put in the middle,
like these other two that crawled in.
all of this is his fault.
im sick of this week,
feeling a little sick of my life.
he's weakening me,
i cry more often now :|
im loosing hope in any boy now.
my dad is the one who hasnt managed to let me down.
he helped me out tremendously,
i wish it were summer,
and it were hot and rainy.
i wish i were 22 and on my own for awhile.
but none of this overly rebellious crap.

he's messing me up,
i cant stand it.
he's not who he used to be,
he is no longer my hero.