Tuesday, July 14, 2009


seem to hardly post stuff anymore.
just when i feel down.
why i feel down?
im not sure,
it just doesnt seem right.
but i know it is./
youll be gone.
ill miss you,
and i can only hope youd feel the same.
i let these emotions,
just about every single one of them,
run the train of mine.
thats not how i want it to be.
i think its supposed to go
facts --> faith --> emotions/
they only need to be forgotten,
and quickly neglected before i get so fully wrapped around them,
that i crash and burn and loose it all.
oddly enough,
im not really depressed.
just feeling hateful toward myself.
a thin layer of hate glazed over me,
i dont know.
i dont hate me,
i dont feel suicidal,
i just cant explain it.
i dont know why i get down so quick,
my life isnt hard.
my life isnt bad.
my life is simple compared to the stories i hear of others.
i almost find depression as selfishness.
i dont know if that makes sense.
i wish we had infinite contact kinda.
i dont know.
i need to get off.
think happy.
because in order to get my way off this sad broken road,
i cant let it get under my skin.
i need to concentrate on something happy/great,
and better,
and not just bathe in gloomy depression/
so, i think
im going to go pray,

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